When you visit Memphis, TN, you have to...

...eat!

Memphis in May is coming to a close, but when you visit Memphis, you have to check out some of my favorite places.

Flight – this restaurant is one of the best date spots in Memphis. There’s an outdoor patio, if you want to sit and watch the sights and sounds of Beale Street.  The bar area is small, which adds to the intimacy of the small restaurant.  There are two levels, but it’s not a huge spacious building.

The menu. Delicious.  Elk.  Quail. Seafood.  There are plenty of choices. And, of course, there’s wine.  To top it all off, you can order tapas style, if you prefer!

Alchemy – I guess I’d call it an upscale bar.  It’s large with plenty of room to mix and mingle.  There’s music piped through, great drinks, and wonderful food.  You can pull up a chair at the bar, or be seated in any of the other areas of the bar.  It’s trendy and fun. 

Bhan Thai – Thai food, live music, and great people.  Whenever I have a friend come to town, I have to take them to Bhan Thai.  Crispy duck and a glass of wine while sitting on the patio listening to live music…it can’t get any better!

Now, when you come to my hometown, you’ll know a few places to visit.  And this doesn’t even begin to touch the barbecue.  That one is easy to find.  You only have to follow your nose.  I swear the air is perfumed with the scents of cinnamon, hickory, honey, and spice all year long J

What does the future look like?

While meeting over coffee with some friends the other day, the subject of a dystopian vs utopian future came up.  It was suggested that maybe one of the reasons people write the dystopian future is because it’s easier.

Then and now, I think I might agree with that.  Because even if on the surface you write a utopian world, by the time you drill down, there would have to be something happening to make it so.  I mean what qualifies as “perfect”? And how can it be perfect for everyone? 

It can’t can it?

With the success of TV shows and movies showing the struggle to survive, it would appear that there are a lot of people that prefer the dystopian tale.  But, I have to admit, I seem to be getting tired of it.  I also am tired of the young adult angle.  Why is it that the adults always seem so clueless?

I don’t write science fiction, so I haven’t attempted to write a futuristic tale, but as I sit and wonder what my story would look like, I can’t say I know.  Would it be based around children saving the world? Or, would there be one “all knowing” character leading the rest? Or, would we simply pick ourselves up brush ourselves off?

Maybe that’s what the dystopian world shows?

What do you think?

This is what happens when I get sick...

I ask myself why...

Series TV -- love it or hate it?

I always say that I don't watch much television.  I should modify that to say, I don't watch much series TV.  I love movies, and lately I've become addicted to Netflix, and watch movies on everything, including my smart phone.

But, gremlins have crept into my brain, and snatched it.  I'm hooked on: "The Walking Dead," "The Following," and reruns of "The Big Bang Theory."

Can somebody anybody tell me why?  What's happened to me?

"The Walking Dead"!  Zombies, really.  Rotting, slow walking, munching on my flesh zombies!  I watch this show, and I hate to be interrupted while I'm watching it.  I don't like to take phone calls during any of my shows, unless you're watching it, too. :-)

I can't even say that I know the characters' names, but the little boy in "The Walking Dead" breaks my heart every time I watch it.  I hate that he's facing such struggles.  Then, I think, people face crazy hard struggles every day.  And to be slapped with children dealing with it, it makes me want to wrap them all up in some magical something that will protect them.  When you make it zombies, the battle seems easier.  You hide, fight, and kill.  But, in life it's not so easy.

"The Following" is a little different.  I'm torn.  I both love and hate the show.  I feel a little like I'm watching a night-time soap opera because of the way the show ends every week.  But, I love the battle with the Joe.  Who doesn't love Kevin Bacon?  It's great to see him again, but I am going to need to see him have  win soon, or I might have to stop watching.

"The Big Bang Theory" why did I catch onto this show so late?!  It's great.  I love Sheldon's innocence.  The whole cast of characters keeps me laughing, and they take my mind off my own worries.  It's is truly escapism into light-hearted, unoffensive humor.  Love it!

My dvr is going to make me so so happy in the future!  And my Netflix account :-)

What are you guys watching?

Great Expectations

Recently, I had a conversation with my brother about "great expectations."  Not the book, but about our expectations for ourselves as compared to what our parents hoped for us, and what he hopes for his children.

We don't come from any sort of traditional family of any kind.  No long line of doctors, teachers, firemen, or policemen.  Our family is a mixture of it all.  We have everything from military men and women to nurses.  But, we wondered what did our parents expect.

In this time of Black History Month, I guess we wondered with all of the opportunities now afforded to us, are we taking full advantage of them.  Did we make our parents happy?

My brother--married with children--has a degree and is one of the most dedicated and hardest working men (people) I know.  Although I'm not married, I do have a few degrees hanging on my wall. But, is that what our parents dreamed of for us?

Of course, I had to ask my parents.  Their response was simple.  They wanted us to be happy.

Now, what does that mean :-)  So, if we lived in cardboard boxes underneath the Memphis/Arkansas bridge, would that be okay? According to my parents, maybe.  Maybe we'd pitch tents in their backyard instead.

Early February, I spoke on a panel at a local library for Black History Month.  And looking into the audience to see my mother quiet and smiling.  It definitely reassured me that I chose the right path.  I'm much happier writing and not living in a cardboard box underneath a bridge, or in a tent in my parents' backyard.  And I think, just maybe my brother and I may have met their hopeful expectations :-)

Men don't cry...do they?

Recently, I wrote a scene into one of my WIPs that involved my hero crying.  Not falling to the floor trembling from the power of his sobs.  But, crying as he asked the woman he loved to forgive him for not being there when she needed him.

It's a true turning point in my story.

But, when I actually thought about the men in my life and the number of times that I've seen them cry the number was small.  My father cried when his mother passed.  My brother cried when our mother's parents died.  An ex cried when his friend committed suicide.

I don't think of myself as any kind of a tender heart, but I must admit I do cry at commercials, hallmark cards, and sometimes romantic movies :-)

For me, it doesn't damage a man's manhood if he cries.  But, then, why do we tell little boys big boys don't cry?

I do love the strong alpha male, but admittedly I am probably equally, if not more so, attracted to a man's intelligence.  If you put Sherlock Holmes' mind into the body of Brad Pitt or Shemar Moore, I'd be an insanely happy woman.

How do men see it?  I asked this question of my friends, and it seems that they don't agree with me.  My male friends that is.  My female friends don't have any huge objection.  But, they all admit, in confidence, that they don't want to have the men in their lives curl up on the couch beside them with a handkerchief as he sobs while watching "Steel Magnolias."

I don't know.  I guess I think it's kind of sad that we train young boys at such an early age not to cry.  In essence, we're telling them to mask their feelings.

Why?

Please tell me when did I become my mother!

First, let me say "I love my mother!"  But, when did I become her?  I don't understand how it happened.  It's like one day I opened my eyes, and "whammo!" she was starring back at me from my mirror.

How or why?

Dating, or should I say courting.

While watching the news the other day, I realized that I am one of "those people."  I love every gadget I can get my hands on: iPad, iPhone, iPod, Kindle Fire.  I love all things social media: blogs, vlogs, Twitter, and (kind of) FaceBook :-)  but when it comes to dating...I am my mother.

The news story was about what's acceptable when asking a woman out on a date.  Your choices are: texting, calling, emailing, or face-to-face.

For me, there are only two choices: face-to-face and calling.  Why because the other two seem impersonal and cold.  I use email and text for promoting and selling products for companies that I work for and with.  I use them both to push information out to people.  But, usually it's from masked addresses that often don't allow responses.

But, now, they seem to be "okay" methods to ask a woman out.  So, then what happens?  Do you plan your date by text or email, too?  Why do you need the other person?  You might as well have a virtual date.  Okay, okay, maybe it's not that dramatic, I'm just saying.  How do I know that same guy didn't send the same invitation to ten other women, and was simply waiting to see who responded first.  Maybe, he would do the same thing if he looked me in my eye or called, but I don't know, I guess it makes me feel differently when I hear his voice or look into his eyes.

I remember talking with my mother, her sisters, and my grandmother about men.  Men should do this.  Men should do that.  Or, women should do this or that.  I rebelled against most of it because to me it all seemed so stereotypical.  And I refused to be the "stereotypical" southern woman.

Now, the only thing I can think about is how much  I kind of wish some of those old school things would come back.  

Does it matter who's right?

I've tried to distance myself from every news store regarding the loss of the beautiful young children of Newtown.  Why?  Because I have young nephews and a niece, it broke my heart to hear of the loss.  I don't have children, and I can't remotely begin to imagine how the children's parents feel or what they're going through at this time in their lives, so close to the holidays.  A time when children are filled with so much joy and happiness that it hurts my heart to imagine the emptiness in those homes or the sadness that forever more will drench this holiday season for the affected families.

I read First Lady Michelle Obama's open letter to Newtown.  I've watched CNN, Fox News and local news reports.  And I guess, I'm tired of the debates.

Why does it seem we (as a country) still can't find common ground?  So many lives were lost.  It's not a party debate.  It should be a "humanity" debate.

How do we not allow the loss of these lives, and those lost every day in similar violent situations, not be in vain?  How do we change it?  Does it begin with us as individuals, or do we continue to sit back and listen to ridiculous debates that eventually resolve nothing?

Below is one of my favorite holiday songs, remade by CeeLo Green.  My heart and prayers are with Newtown.

I love #BradPitt I don't care what anybody says...

CHANEL N°5.  I've never bought a bottle a day in my life.  But, yes, because of Brad Pitt, I will give it a look on my next trip to the perfume counter.



I don't understand why people are bashing the commercial. 

Is it any different from Charlize Theron's J'adore DIOR ads?





 Or, Natalie Portman's Miss Dior Le Parfum


 

 What is this really?  Brad is gorgeous.  I'm not personally upset about the fantasy that if my man wore the same cologne as him that he might be a little more just like Brad: sexy, gorgeous, financially set for freaking life!

Come on.  Men thumb through the pages of Playboy drooling over women who's turn-offs are what--people who don't read Playboy :-)
Is this just a matter of people not loving the stylistic choice of the director of this spot? Or, are people hating on Brad because he's beautiful?

Is there only room for humorous male cologne commercials?


 


 Humor or sexy?  Or both?  What do you think?

What makes you cry?

My girlfriends all tell me how they were pure emotion during their pregnancies, but I've never been pregnant, and I'm not now.  So, can anyone tell me why I cry all the time.

I was watching a freaking Google+ commercial with a father and daughter, and literally teared up at the end. Like what was that?

And come on, who doesn't cry at all of the holiday commercials.  Do you remember the one when the soldier returns home from duty, and his younger sister knows he's home first? It's a coffee commercial that makes me cry every single time.

Whether it's my little nephew smiling at me or an episode of "Sons of Anarchy" I seem to cry at the drop of a dime.

Help me :-) I swear if you guys respond to this, I'll probably cry!

Do you need a dating coach?

Do you know how to date?

We've all seen romantic comedy after romantic comedy and, of course, we've read our fair share of romance novels.  But, if someone asked you how to date...what would you say or suggest?

I think the cliched movie based on the story-line of beautiful cultured person "fixing up" the nerdy geek is so overused that it's crazy. but, recently, I saw another version of this same cliche that made me wonder just how many people have used a dating coach.

I, personally, know people who've used: on-line dating sites, dating phone lines, and speed dating as a source of finding that perfect someone.  (I wrote a blog for From the Heart Romance Writers' Voices from the Heart Blog about soul mates http://www.voicesftheart.blogspot.com/.)

Just how hard is it to find a lover, a friend, and a companion all rolled into one?  And when you find that special someone, how do you know it's the right person, and not a temporary love :-)

What would you be willing to do to find the love of your life, or do you think you've already discovered that mysterious love?  Have you guys ever searched for dating coaches?  The tips on their websites are what we as romance writers filter into our books every time we tell a story.  We write stores about: intelligent, strong, people, especially those of use who write Alpha characters.  Although our characters might be thrown in the middle of some exciting adventure, or some critical moment in their lives, we still write about characters who know themselves and what they want, but for whatever reason we've created they haven't found that match.

If you were a dating coach, what would be your steps of advice for finding the love of your life?

Erotica v pornography

According to Wikipedia,

Erotica (from the Greek ἔρως, eros "desire") are works of art, including literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting, that deal substantively with erotically stimulating or sexually arousing descriptions.

while the definition of

Pornography or porn is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter. Pornography may use a variety of media, including books,magazines, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video, and video games. The term applies to the depiction of the act rather than the act itself...

Depending on where you stand on this issue the difference in the two may be too subtle for differentiation.  And, honestly, I'm not here to debate the moral correctness of either.  But, instead in this age of Fifty Shades of rey,  I was extremely shocked to see a news broadcast on CNN regarding a request to ban porn in hotels.      I have never rented porn in a hotel, but I don't know if I'm okay with people affecting my ability to rent porn if I want to rent porn!

According to the CNN report...
-Omni Hotels discontinued it's offering in '99
-Marriott plans to phase out it's offerings by '13
-Choice Hotels leaves it to the discretion of it's franchisees


Whether or not you choose to watch porn or read erotica, I guess, for me, the operative word is "choose."  If I chose to read Fifty Shades of Grey, shouldn't I be able to walk into any store and pick it up?  And shouldn't it be the same way for my porn?  I guess I can still go to one of those wonderfully well-lit inviting porn shops and pick-up my porn :-)

What is your writing technique?

I thought about this, recently, as I cruised through the aisles of my local wine shop.

In February, I relocated from Maryland to Tennessee. Habitually, I drive to my favorite wine shop; pick up one of my favorite bottles, and I know my weekend of writing is set. Stare out of the window; write; a sip of my favorite cabernet...perfect Saturday.

But, wait...I have not been able to find my favorite cab or my backup (a tasty red zin) anywhere! What has this cold cruel world come to? Am I going to have to order them over the Internet and have them delivered to my new home or will I be forced to try others :-)

Okay, so trying others isn't soooo bad. But, it did throw a monkey wrench into my normal routine.

Have any of you every had something unexpected throw you off of your routine, and it couldn't be changed back?